Nightmares in Taco Bell
by Pink Raccoon
Summary: The title can speak for itself, in the most dangerous mission the pilots have ever had to face.


Nightmares in Taco Bell  
  
"Taco BELL! Taco BELL! Taco taco taco!!" Chimed Duo,  
  
bouncing up and down in the back of the car as Heero  
  
twitched at the wheel. Trowa stared off into  
  
nothingness as Wufei attempted to thwack Duo, in which  
  
he had missed.  
  
"Yes Duo! We are going to Taco bell to meet Quatre,  
  
now can you please STOP?" Snapped Heero, who didn't do  
  
anything more as Duo began singing "Oh McDonald, I  
  
WANT FRIES."  
  
They were all on the verge of insanity when they entered  
  
Taco Bell. Quatre was sitting at a table, staring at  
  
a burrito unwrapped and covered in a weird red sauce.  
  
They all took a seat.  
  
"What did you bring us here to talk about?" Said  
  
Heero, focusing on the burrito. Quatre's eyes widened  
  
in fear.  
  
"That burrito just moved..." He whispered, slowly  
  
lifting a straw like he was about to poke it.  
  
"Quatre...?" Said Heero raising a brow.  
  
"OH! It did it again!!!" Screamed Quatre, falling out  
  
of his chair and scrambling away. The four stared at  
  
the burrito, which obviously wasn't moving.  
  
"I saw IT!" Yelled Duo, jumping up.  
  
"Duo, sit down. That burrito ISN'T  
  
moving...weaklings." Said Wufei, picking up the straw  
  
and stabbing the burrito. A leprechaun scrambled from  
  
it. Wufei's eyes widened as Heero stared casually.  
  
The little Irish man began to do a jig as Wufei  
  
yelled, jumping from his seat.  
  
"What the hell?!?" Yelled Heero, staring at the still  
  
burrito with a straw through it, seeing nothing more.  
  
Quatre screamed again from across the Taco Bell as it  
  
inched down the table leg and moved towards him. Duo  
  
yelled as well.  
  
Trowa turned as a small purple hippo came to sit on  
  
his shoulder.  
  
"Who are you?" Asked Trowa politely.  
  
"I am Mr. HIPPO! And I am your frien'." He said with a  
  
tiny voice. Trowa smiled and nodded, piercing the  
  
hippo with his hair. The hippo shrieked.  
  
"DUMB A**!! WHAT THE F*** IS UP WITH YOUR MOTHER  
  
F***ING HAIR?!?" Mr. Hippo screamed, attempting to pry  
  
himself from the golden brown spikes of death.  
  
Trowa picked the hippo up into his hand, which looked  
  
VERY odd to Heero.  
  
"I am sorry, Mr. Hippo." He smiled, setting Mr. Hippo  
  
on top of his head.  
  
Wufei picked up a napkin dispenser and threw it at the  
  
leprechaun, who was presently climbing up a table and  
  
laughing insanely.  
  
"It's got my LEEGGGGG!!! AHHH!!" Yelled Duo, slamming  
  
his leg into a table as hard as he could.  
  
Heero looked around, seeing the pilots going insane.  
  
"What are you TALKING about?" He said, lifting the  
  
burrito in it's wrapper and throwing it into a trash  
  
can. Quatre yelled as 3 more burritos emerged from the  
  
trash can.  
  
"I'm going to have to ask you guys to leave..." Said a  
  
man, walking up to Heero.  
  
Wufei was in the background, battling with the  
  
leprechaun attached to his nose.  
  
Trowa was currently listening to the hippo's plan for  
  
destruction, and Duo and Quatre were scrambling around  
  
the room, Duo limping and Quatre throwing napkin  
  
dispensers at mid-air.  
  
"Mission accepted." Said Heero striking his hand pose  
  
as the manager raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Great, now they're all insane." He muttered, walking  
  
back to call the police.  
  
Heero jumped towards Trowa, putting him into a large  
  
cage in which was pulled from his eyebrow. He walked  
  
up to Duo and Quatre, pulling a giant trunk from his  
  
eyebrow and locking them inside.  
  
Wufei blinked as the little leprechaun flipped him off  
  
and began screaming in Spanish how Wufei was but one  
  
big cow. Not two big cows, not one big ostrich, but  
  
one big cow.  
  
Heero locked Wufei in a different cage...with the  
  
leprechaun. The leprechaun smiled evilly with it's  
  
beady eyes.  
  
He shoved them all back into his eyebrows and walked  
  
out, getting in the car and grumbling to himself.  
  
"Mission 'Get The Freaks Out Of Taco Bell' :  
  
completed." He smiled as he back up, ramming a nun bus  
  
before speeding away.  
  
Heero had put Duo and Quatre in a cage and set all  
  
three cages in a circle around the room, pacing and  
  
attempting to think in the yells that the burrito had  
  
followed them and was crawling through the window.  
  
Trowa smiled and rocked back and fourth, clutching his  
  
knees. Wufei was in the corner of his cage, eyes  
  
widened in horror.  
  
"Now how could this have happened...? And why aren't I  
  
going insane?" Muttered Heero, ceasing to pace. He  
  
walked over to the couch and sat down. And then it hit  
  
him.  
  
Relena had come over and given them each a carrot a  
  
week ago, a rather strange ordeal, but hey, it was a  
  
free carrot. Heero had stored his away...  
  
He walked down to his lab and removed the carrot from  
  
his eyebrow, slicing a thin piece and placing it under  
  
a microscope, attempting to stop the itching hunger  
  
for a carrot.  
  
"Just as I THOUGHT!" He said, seeing little Relena  
  
shaped cells in the carrot. If he would have eaten it  
  
he would have been in love with Relena...Dear God.  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeroo." Called Relena, stepping inside the  
  
front door, studying the other pilots in cages. She  
  
walked up to Duo and Quatre's.  
  
"The burrito told me he's going to drink your  
  
blood..." She whispered cruelly as she narrowed her  
  
eyes. Duo and Quatre yelled in horror as the burrito  
  
crawled into the cage.  
  
"Oh, Relena!!" Yelled Heero, rushing from the lab with  
  
an evil grin on his face. Relena's eyes lit up.  
  
"My Heero!!" She giggled, jumping up and down, and  
  
stretching out her arms for a hug. Heero ran past.  
  
"Umm...Will you change them back to normal?" Asked  
  
Heero, looking at Relena.  
  
"If you kiss me!!" Giggled Relena, hopping up to  
  
Heero.  
  
"Okay...close your eyes..." Smiled Heero, as she did  
  
so. He ripped a cow from his eyebrow and pushed it  
  
into Relena's puckered lips. The cow was thrown out  
  
the door as the poor thing died.  
  
"Hippos ARE PEOPLE TOO!!!" A yell came from Trowa's  
  
cage. "Mr. Hippo says you will burn in HELL!!!"  
  
Relena smiled and clapped, the pilots suddenly  
  
blinking back to normal.  
  
Heero snatched up Relena and stuffed her into a cage,  
  
rolling her out into the street as the nun bus came by  
  
and pushed her along, to caught up in their rejoicful  
  
singing to notice the girl who's hair suddenly got  
  
caught in the bottom of her cage, or the big dent in  
  
the side of their bus.  
  
Heero opened all of the cages and smiled as Duo  
  
limped over to the couch.  
  
"Owww..." He moaned. Wufei slowly walked from the  
  
cage. Quatre stared as Trowa walked into the kitchen  
  
and sat behind a curve in the wall.  
  
"I'm glad you guys aren't freaks anymore..." Uttered  
  
Heero, looking at them. He chuckled to himself in his  
  
own private joke.  
  
Trowa pondered a long sharp kitchen knife as the four  
  
pilots watched TV. He twisted the tip into his finger.  
  
"Mr. Hippo says kill them...kill them all..." He said  
  
with a gleam in his eye.  
  
***Wee!! Clap for me or you shall suffer the wrath of  
  
Mr. Hippo!! 


End file.
